When I was age six a drunk driver hit our family car broadside. My mom was killed; my dad and brother were critical. I had minor injuries. While recovering we lived with various family members. Eventually the three of us were reunited at home. Dad was a lonely widower with two young children that he was ill equipped to care for. One day he told me he had to marry someone to take care of us or he was going to put us up for adoption.
After dad remarried verbal, emotional, and physical abuse were a common occurrence. I was also the victim of sexual abuse. I began to use alcohol and drugs to numb myself. Throughout my teen and young adult life I bounced back and forth between periods of binging and sobriety. It was tragically ironic that I would use the very thing that destroyed my family.
Even though my family was dysfunctional, we did attend church. I had been told the gospel a multitude of times before I everreally heard it. In my late 30's I wanted to quit using for good, but just wasn't able. One morning I looked at myself in the mirror and knew I was looking into the face of death. I cried out for God to help me. He unstopped my ears, and for the first time I heard the gospel. I gave my heart and my life to Christ and he began to heal me.
In the beginning of my "born again life" fear kept me from being real about my past. God began to work on my heart and I knew He wanted me to be vulnerable and give Him glory for what He had done. My family had been attending Central for a couple of years when there was an announcement in the bulletin; Pastor Dave was starting a recovery ministry. I knew this was where God wanted me and so began attending the planning meetings for Celebrate Recovery.
A core component of CR is the step-study which takes you back in your past to examine the cause of your hurts, habits and hang-ups. I had been clean and sober for 12 plus years, but I discovered through the step-study that I still had some unhealthy ways - like isolation, busyness, and perfectionism - of coping with the rejection, abandonment, and abuse that were my root cause. I was still in need of God's healing touch and as I yield to His touch He continues to heal me.
Today I am blessed to have life in Jesus my Savior, the support of my husband and three children, and my Central Church and Celebrate Recovery families.
My name is Beth Meadows. I am a believer who is a recovering alcoholic. I suffered a devastating loss 19 years ago, when I discovered my precious son was being sexually abused by a close family member. It plunged me into indescribable darkness and despair. I did not want to live so I began coping by drinking trying to drown my sorrows. The only problem was, my problem, my pain became a raging addiction that I could not stop. I knew it was an offense against God and I longed to be clean before Jesus. I was paralyzed to tell anyone because Christians do not have these kinds of problems.
Celebrate Recovery came to Central and I could not get there fast enough. I went, hung over and completely broken. I decided to tell my secret and get help.That was 4 years ago this February 15th. I took a chance that people would still love me knowing the truth and the pain. Jesus and Celebrate Recovery changed my life. I am whole and healed at the deepest levels, spiritually, mentally and physically. It was a lot of work, but so was hiding from my pain and myself. I decided to live, to really live! Sober and complete, healed with and through a bunch of brave and honest Christians that I am so proud to be part of. God will never waste your suffering. Now I use the suffering I ran so hard from to help others find freedom as well. If the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed. Thank you Jesus and Celebrate Recovery for bringing me back to life!